Today I visited the gravesite of Jeremy, my son. As is my habit I leave a pot of plastic flowers every spring by his headstone. It has been three and a half years since he moved on to heaven and I thought perhaps I would feel a little different with the passage of time; however, not much has changed. I still miss him terribly and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. Sadly, Jeremy was only eight and a half years old when he died.

Jeremy had many disabilities and was not expected to live beyond a few weeks at best. I love it when the doctors are wrong. Although Jeremy was blind, unable to speak and had no motor skills he was well on his way to recovery and with each passing month was gaining little by little. He fought the good fight and now he is with his saviour Jesus.

I wrote this poem after Jeremy passed on…I believe it is prophetic in nature and I look forward to being with my little man one day soon.

I love you Jeremy. ~ Dad

Jeremy

You flew so high

when you let go…

grasping the wing

of an angel,

feathers soft and purest white.

A breeze brushed your lovely face

and tears raced from eyes

cherishing their first sight,

a golden city…

a nail scared hand

reached to steady that first step.

Words formed

on silent lips,

fresh like dewdrops

on a summer rose.

The taste of honey lingered

as you ran

through open fields of sunflowers,

your cheeks

glistening in the velvet sun.

Hearing your own voice…

you laughed.

And music adorned

your dancing feet;

a robin sang…

and angels cheered you on.

Slipping from my hand,

I see you now…

not as you were.

Suffering was a garment

to be discarded,

and yet…

it is what I cling to.

The pain in my heart

reminds me of you.

I won’t forget.

The tears in my eyes

sting like piercing arrows.

The scars of life seem many,

and some take long to heal.

But for now,

run along little Bear…

savour the choices

that surround you

and be glad,

for your heavenly Father beckons,

“come my little one…come”.

Is anyone else wondering where all the hype and media is now that the Paralympics are under way in Vancouver? Athletes from all over the world are competing and no word is mentioned outside of Vancouver. Are these Paralympic athletes less deserving than the Olympic athletes?

It’s sad to think perhaps the media deems them not worthy of coverage simply because they may not attract as vast an audience as the Olympics. The Paralympic athletes have overcome just as many hurtles, if not more, than your average athlete at the Olympics. I know CTV is broadcasting the Paralympics in Vancouver but coverage for the most part is limited.

As a parent, and foster parent of disabled children I can tell you that their hearts and determination is as great as any Olympian, maybe even greater. Today would have been my son Jeremy’s twelfth birthday. He was eight and a half when he died and spent his entire life fighting everyday that he lived. He was a fighter and an inspiration to everyone around him. He never had the chance to compete with anyone, but he was a gold medal winner in my eyes. It’s too bad many (including the media) don’t see the value of the human spirit beyond the perceived perfection of the Olympic athletes. The athletes competing in the Paralympics deserve a chance to compete and to have their moment of fame, and as far as I am concerned they are all winners in my sight.

 I’m not sure what happened up stairs, but I know downstairs things didn’t turn out quite the way I expected. Most of the teenagers and younger ones had no idea who the Three Stooges were unlike those of us over the hill guys who grew up on a steady diet of the slap stickers. Within moments of the eye popping, ear pulling, and head banging shenanigans, the older guys were falling off the couch splitting their sides with laughter. The younger guys were all sitting straight faced and trying to get the humour and looking at us like we were insane or something. I couldn’t believe it, after five minutes or so they left…probably up stairs to tell on us!

 Well anyway, it felt good to cough up a lung and I’m glad we resisted the temptation to turn off the movie in spite of the objections of those sour grape kids. When I talked to the wife about it later she said she didn’t get the stooges either! What am I…insane? Is there no one out there who appreciates the fine comedy of  the Stooges?

 Alas, I guess we’re a dying breed, those of us who laugh when someone gets poked in the eye. There was a time when slap stick was an art form…now I guess it’s just politically incorrect.

As an artist I try to look at things from a different perspective. Not that I’m any different or better than other people, I just try to get a different angle on the obvious. Of course I realize that what may be obvious to me will have a totally different meaning to another person and, likewise what may be evident to others will escape my discernment thoroughly.

In a perfect world, I should think that our diverse perspectives would bring balance to many circumstances. I might be able to see something I had not seen before if I could see through the eyes of another. To only see things from my perspective is narrow minded and no doubt limits me in my understanding, and I know how shallow my understanding is, given the many times I’ve changed my mind about something when I’ve considered another point of view.

My dilemma is not necessarily to cave in and allow many different points of view to take precedent over my own thoughts and ideas; it’s where do I draw the line so that I don’t lose my own identity in the process of trying to understand others. When I was younger it was simpler; it was my way or the highway. Now that I’m older I find that my desires are often displaced and put aside to meet, as it were, the more pressing needs of others. It has become a quandary to the point that I feel as time slips by I will never be able to do all the things I want to do; simply because meeting the needs of others means that I have to take the time to see the world through their eyes in order to understand them.

There was a time when I thought a person of strong disposition (stubborn and narrow minded) demonstrated security and leadership, and the seeming sacrifice of character was for those jellyfish who washed about the whims of other people like the waves upon the shore. I’ve come to believe that the opposite is true, that strength of character belongs to those who reach out to others. It takes a certain resilience to be secured in who you are, to have an open mind and accept people where they’re at. Narrow mindedness seeks only its own way and closes the door on the opportunity to help shape the lives of people.

It may seem strange, but I see that nature of narrow mindedness in the very people I want to help and change. Ironically, it lives in the ones who vehemently claim to be open minded, and the very ones who tell me they know everything and that I am narrow minded. It’s an absurdity of sorts to believe that teens can be so smart and a dumb ass all in the same breath…but love them we must. To think otherwise is to isolate ourselves from them and the resulting “stubborn will,” will reveal a weak character and an inability to be open minded.

This seems like a tall order, at least for me, but I need to look no farther than my past to realize that there were many people of “strong character,” if you will, that put up with the shenanigans of yours truly, and with “strong purpose of mind” set about the task of understanding me…with all my nonsense. No small feat I imagine, but one for which I’m grateful. If it were not for the selfless sacrifices made by those (my parents) who loved me, I would not be where I am today. And so, I try to demonstrate that same love to my wife, to my kids, to my foster kids, and to everyone I come in contact, because maybe one day it will make a difference in someone’s life.

“Our lives are shaped by those who love us.” ~ John Powell

I think the challenge therefore, is not necessarily the need to be right all the time, but rather the need to understand, and to have faith that those whose lives we touch will one day pass on the virtue of those who had our best interests in mind…even when we did not understand them.

As a footnote, I feel it only fair to say that I fail daily at my attempts…to be of strong character. More often than not I’m too cynical for my own good…or perhaps I should say for the good of others. My failures far exceed my successes and just when I’m beginning to “get it,” I realize I’m too old and set in my ways for a painless change. What a mystery, and a paradox this thing called life…who can define it in simple terms. Surely not me…but like an artist, I struggle to capture a small glimpse of a far greater picture. Its one thing to paint a picture of life, its quite another to live it.

To be fair, I have not commented one way or another on the subject of the Crossroads Board of Directors’ decision to have Ron step down as president of Crossroads over the ponzi scam fiasco preferring of course to get the goods from the horse’s mouth. At the outset David Mainse (former president and father of Ron) comforted the masses and basically whitewashed the event by stating that there was no need for concern and all would be revealed in due time. Personally, I feel the silence (over four months) has done more harm than good.

Crossroads call the people who support the ministry “partners,”  but they seem to have drawn a line as to what can be shared and what cannot. If they were truly concerned about the  partners would it not have been better to come clean right at the beginning than to leave in the dark the people who have supported them through the years? What was offered by Ron and Ann was little more than what we already knew except to say they lost a bit of sleep over the incident, and would make full restitution to the 40 or 50 people who were scammed with them…oh, and they were both naïve.

Now I have some questions that will most likely go unanswered in light of the statement Jim Cantalon made after Ron’s interview…simply stated that because he did not use a script or have any predetermined questions that this would somehow put to rest any furthers questions that people may have. Although I have a lot of respect for Jim I hope he is not naive enough to believe that this is over by any means. We don’t need to know where the toilet paper goes when we flush it down the toilet, until the toilet starts to back up…then we better find out where the problem is and fix it. What little has come to light, or perhaps what hasn’t,  is exactly what will continue to fuel the fire that this long silence has brought about. I don’t think privacy is an issue here, nor do I think that asking questions is like throwing stones as some have suggested. To whom much is given, much is required, and because those who are in the public eye have chosen to be there (no one forced them) they have forfeited the right to privacy especially when the very ministry they are involved in is supported by the public.

At the end of Jim’s interview with Ron, the marlette at the bottom of the screen blatantly declared Ron’s title as president of Crossroads Christian Communications. It begs the question why the board would reinstall Ron as president when in his carefully crafted speech he declared himself a “novice” when it comes to anything financial. Not that he needs to be a financial expert, but the fact remains that he failed to consult anyone with experience that may have given him some much needed advice before making a critical decision. Although I like Ron as a person he doesn’t exactly exude with confidence…which is ok, but not necessarily the image of someone who would be the president of a large ministry and making assessments that would involve the hard earned cash of their supporters. Personally, I would think twice before investing in a business where the leader keeps things under the table or doesn’t see the need to seek advice about things that seem too good to be true. In my opinion Jim is more astute and would be viewed as a more competent president, and Ron would be more suited as a host.

I also wonder why Ann was allowed to stay on as host of the couch potatoes when she was equally involved in the same scam that dethroned her husband Ron, and also removed Reynold and Kathy from their perspective positions.

Of course part of the problem was the interview itself. How could anyone expect an impartial interview when the host(s) is (are) employed by the people being interviewed. An outsider (perhaps Michael Coren) would have pressed for answers to the tough questions instead of leading everyone along the garden path to a happy ending. And speaking of endings, I was very dismayed after Ron’s interview when he announced that the following week would be yet another two week membership drive and fund raiser…with a huge smile on his face.

Business as usual…indeed!

October Leaves

 So jade among the foliage

Riding high above her peers

Having several good points

But not upon her ears

Others were green with envy

And impossible to please

Dancing on a tender twig

She loved to shoot the breeze

Then one day it happened

Her face turned vivid red

Twisting on a slender branch

She fell right out of bed

Buoyant on a gusty breeze

By the waning greenery

Floating by the crimson maples

And taking in the scenery

She led the charge, or so it seemed

Alighting without sound

The others quickly followed suit

And joined her on the ground 

 BEACONSFIELD, Quebec, Sept. 29 (UPI) — An Anglican church near Montreal has become dog-friendly, offering a Paws and Pray service once a month. The communion service at Christ Church Beaurepaire in Beaconsfield will include treats for the dogs and bowls of water along with bread and wine for their humans, the Montreal Gazette reports. The Rev. Michael Johnson, vicar of the church 25 miles east of Montreal, plans to try Paws and Pray for four months to determine if there is enough interest to justify keeping it going. Many Anglican churches bless animals once a year, usually on the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi. A regular service is a little more unusual. “I hope the dogs will feel honored and welcomed,” Johnson said. The service was suggested by Johanne Tasse, a member of Christ Church and president of Companion Animals Adoption Centers of Quebec, the Gazette reported. “Animals deserve our care and respect,” she said. “If we can bring dogs to church, how can we turn around and abuse them?”

 http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2009/09/29/Quebec-church-invites-dogs-to-attend/UPI-83991254265008/

 Beautiful…I mean what’s next. Perhaps Johnson has been nipping a little on the side? This raises so many questions I can hardly believe my eyes. Can a dog feel honoured? Treats and water along with the sacriments…isn’t that leaning toward if not out right sacriledge?

Perhaps Johanne Tasse has been nipping as well when she says and I quote, “If we can bring dogs to church, how can we turn around and abuse them?” I guess she hasn’t been reading the papers lately about all the child abuse cases leveled against the clergy of late. Maybe it’s different with dogs.

 I have one more question, what if fido dumps a steamer on the carpet of the sancurary…who is going to pick it up? 

No wonder the Anglican church continues to lose membership…who can take them seriously?

 I try not to get myself into a knot over the news, politics, religion, or the stupid things people do to one another, but some things get my dander up…like the fleas on a dog, they’re an irritable itch I have no choice but to scratch! 

I heard an interesting quote today, “A fanatic is someone who has lost sight of his goal and redoubles his effort.” Reminds me of some of the dolts I read about in the newspapers these days. 

Religion seems at best a careless distraction. Fundamentalism appears to be at the root of many problems today. Although I profess to be a follower of Christ, I do not consider myself a fundamentalist. Sure I have core beliefs in the scriptures, but I do not think that “an ultimatum” is the necessary tool for sharing my beliefs. Surely the threat of taking a life (as is the practice of some) is a poor way of converting a pagan. Will he not say whatever you wish to save his life, and then when your back is turned…go his old way? 

Perhaps if the goal is to share God’s love for mankind, then love is what should be shown, and then conceivably good old fashioned conviction might win the day.

In 1993, I devoted all my time to my family and profession and did not paint for twelve years. In 2005, with a renewed passion for art, I began experimenting with acrylics, watercolours, and began sketching with charcoal and painting acrylic portraits. I have also rediscovered, in a somewhat freer format, the themes, wildlife, and beautiful countryside that surround me. Most of my work is now done in oils on canvas.

In the last year or so I have been attempting to integrate my Christian spiritual experiences onto the canvas. This has been a journey of many surprises and continues to be a source of enlightenment for me personally.

Of course as an artist I experiment in many different genres including writing, poetry, and commentary on a variety of issues. Life is a journey, and like the changing scenery I hope to add to these pages diversity of thought and reflection.